With multiple dating apps and mobile platforms out there to help you meet prospects, hooking up is easier than ever on so many levels. Your interface of choice isn’t going to convince someone hot to give you a chance or ensure they’re satisfied with their experience though. You have to handle that part on your own. Here are a few hacks, tips, and tricks veteran hookup experts swear by when it comes to getting the most out of scoring.
1. Be honest about your real intentions.
With casual sex becoming increasingly socially acceptable, finding people who are willing to go to bed with someone they just met is pretty easy. Not all of those people are going to be satisfied with a one-night stand though. Some people do go into hookups hoping for at least the potential of an ongoing relationship.
Simply being honest and upfront about what you’re looking for can save you a lot of drama. If you’re only open to being friends after you do the deed, let them know. If you never want to see them again after that one night, make sure they know that too. It’s cleaner, kinder, and simpler than ghosting someone.
2. Don’t use alcohol to close the deal.
There are a lot of people out there who still think feeding someone countless drinks is the best way to close the deal, but they really shouldn’t. These days, we’re all woke enough to understand the importance of consent – something a drunk person isn’t capable of giving you. Ignoring this is just asking for trouble, especially if the person wasn’t into you when they were sober earlier in the evening.
Plus, someone who’s crazy drunk is going to be a sloppy lay at best. You want to have mind-blowing, toe-curling sex with your hookup, not wind up playing babysitter all night. Sharing a couple of cocktails to get the ball rolling is fine; getting your date wasted is not.
3. Show some initiative.
If you’re the type of person who always waits for the other person to take the lead when you’re hoping to score, consider this the sign you needed that it’s time to be more assertive. If you’re picking up on some serious chemistry and you know the other person’s into you, consider making the first move yourself instead of waiting for them to do it.
The feeling of going after something you want and getting it is way too awesome to miss out on. It’s also super-hot. If your potential partner happens to be on the shyer side themselves, they’ll probably be mighty relieved as well.
4. Make protection a priority.
The last thing you want is for a fun, casual one-night thing to result in lifelong consequences, so treat protection like a necessity instead of an option. Birth control pills not only won’t protect you from STDs and STIs, but they come with a one percent failure rate even if they’re taken perfectly. Play it safe and use a condom, even if you’ve already got the pill in your corner.
Don’t take it for granted that the other person will take care of the protection either. If they do, that’s great, but always make sure you have your own with you. Insist on protection being used as well. If the other person refuses, it’s better to pass altogether. If they’re willing to hook up with you unprotected, they’ve probably been doing the same with a lot of other people.
5. Do what feels good.
While it’s true that nobody likes a selfish lover who’s only interested in getting theirs, it’s important to remember that there are two people involved here. You’re one of them! That said, yes, you should care whether your partner has a good time. You should be respectful of their body and ensure you have their consent as far as everything that’s going on, but you should also do what feels good to you.
The more obvious it is that you’re into what’s going down, the hotter the experience is going to be for both of you. Keep in mind that most people want the people they go to bed with to enjoy what’s happening, including the people you hook up with.
6. Stop believing in the walk of shame.
Last but not least, it’s officially time to shut down any residual shame about having casual sex. If it’s approached responsibly and respectfully, there is nothing wrong with it on any level. Plus, you’re a grown adult and so is your partner, so you’re both within your rights to manage your sex lives however you please.
Sex is meant to be fun and it can be casual, carefree, and string-free. Treat it that way on every level and you’re pretty much guaranteed to have better, more satisfying hookup experiences overall.