It’s a common misconception that a guy needs choose between being the distinguished gentleman he wants to be and enjoying the casual hookups he craves in his intimate life. After all, committed relationships aren’t for everyone. Casual sex is a much better fit for people who are busy or who are simply not ready for a traditional relationship.
But it is possible to approach hookup culture like a gentleman, and there are lots of great reasons to learn how. Gentleman hookup enthusiasts leave a better impression on their lovers, and they don’t have to sacrifice their integrity to have a good time, which is a win for everyone involved. Here are some tips to keep in mind.
Break up with sleazy
Many horny guys assume it’s the sleazy, oily players out there who always get to take the hot girls home. They further assume that if they want to hook up with hot girls, they need to be sleazy, snaky, and deceptive, too. But gentlemen who love casual hookups know there’s a better way.
Instead of trying to fool women with cheap pickup lines and lies, get them to crave some fun in the sack with you by winning their trust instead. Be real with women, be yourself, and show them a good time. You’ll both enjoy the sex a lot more.
Go easy on the alcohol
Sure, tipsy sex can be a good time on occasion. But it can so easily turn into an embarrassing disaster for everyone involved. The woman runs the risk of waking up the next day, ashamed of herself and the choices she made. And as a guy, you run the risk of getting whiskey dick and finding yourself unable to perform.
While it’s fine to have a cocktail or two to loosen up and get into the spirit of things when you’re out socializing, it’s better to go easy overall. If for no other reason, it’s important to limit alcohol consumption to ensure it doesn’t get in the way of consent.
Step up and take the lead
A sleazy pickup artist might think taking the lead means being pushy and intimidating in an effort to pressure a woman to come home with him or take him back to her place. But a gentleman knows differently. He knows it simply means that he shouldn’t take the passive route and simply hope his evening plays out the way he wants.
A gentleman takes the lead of the hookup in a charming, assertive way that a woman is happy to go along with. He understands that even in a day and age when women are free to make their own sexual choices, many still don’t like feeling easy or loose. He knows that taking the lead allows her to get what she wants without having to initiate things herself.
Be prepared to host a guest
Preparedness is a must when you’re into hookup culture, especially if you consider yourself to be a gentleman. Make it a point to keep your living space clean, organized, and guest-ready at all times, as you really never know when an opportunity to enjoy a smoking hot hookup might present itself.
Make sure there aren’t any panties, earrings, or other little mementos belonging to other women lying around where a new date will see them. (Even if she knows she’s not the only one you’re sleeping with, it’s rude to leave the evidence out in plain view where anyone can see it.) Change your sheets regularly, make your bed, keep plenty of condoms on hand, and maintain a well-stocked fridge so that you can always offer guests a drink or a snack.
Turn sex into a whole experience
A gentleman never lets the fact that a hookup with a particular woman is likely a one-time thing keep him from turning it into a night to remember for her. But, really, think about it. This is your chance to become the legend she tells her friends about over and over for years to come – the guy she can’t help but think about when she’s all alone at night.
Turn your evening into a whole experience to remember. Have fun together. Treat her to some sparkling pillow talk followed by a snack and a nice cocktail. Remember, it’s not just about the sex. A gentleman also knows how to create an entire interaction that’s enjoyable from start to finish.
However you choose to connect with the women you hook up with, you’ve always got a choice between doing things the cheesy, sleazy way and making a gentlemanly impression that will leave you both with a fantastic impression of the night you just shared. Choose wisely. You won’t be sorry, especially when you see what a difference it makes.