Does Your Sex Drive Need a Boost? Try These 10 Tips from our Sex Experts

Sure, sex is fun. It feels good, it’s a great way to relieve stress, and it’s a great way to bond with your partner.

But what happens when your sex drive starts to dwindle? You’re not alone—it’s a common problem, especially as we get older. Fortunately, there are things you can do to give your sex drive a boost.

Here are some tips from our experts.

How A Man’s Sex Drive Actually Works

It’s no secret that nearly all men would like to boost their sex drive and would love to have more sex. After all, sex is fun, enjoyable, and it feels great. Plus, it’s a great way to bond with your partner. But what’s the science behind a man’s sex drive?

Sexual desire is a complex interaction of physical, psychological, social, and cultural factors.

According to a recent study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, there are several factors that contribute to a man’s sex drive. These include things like testosterone levels, age, medications, stress, and relationship status.


Testosterone is the key hormone here. It’s what gives a man his sex drive and libido. Testosterone levels naturally decline with age, so it’s not surprising that older men may have a lower sex drive than younger men. Testosterone levels can also be affected by certain medical conditions, such as type 2 diabetes and sleep apnea, can also lead to low testosterone levels.


Age is another important factor when it comes to a man’s sex drive. Generally speaking, younger men have a higher libido than older men. This is due to things like higher testosterone levels, as well as increased blood flow to the genitals. That said, there are plenty of older men with a high sex drive.


Certain medications can impact a man’s sex drive. For example, antidepressants, blood pressure medications, and even some cold medicines can all lead to decreased libido. If you’re concerned that your medication is affecting your sex drive, talk to your doctor about alternative options.


Stress is a major libido killer for both men and women. When you’re stressed, your body is in “fight or flight” mode, which means that it’s not focused on things like sex. Instead, it’s focused on survival. That said, a little bit of stress can actually be a good thing for your sex drive. Just enough to get your adrenaline going can actually increase your libido.

Relationship Status

Finally, your relationship status can also impact your sex drive. In general, men who are in happy, healthy relationships have a higher libido than those who are single or in unhappy relationships. This is likely due to the fact that being in a good relationship lowers stress levels and provides emotional intimacy, both of which are important for a healthy sex life.

When To See a Doctor About Your Sex Drive

If your sex drive has been low for an extended amount of time, you’re definitely not alone. According to a recent study, one in three women and one in four men suffer from low libido.

The recent Covid pandemic and lack of social interaction certainly didn’t help anyone’s sex drive or mental health.

While there can be many factors that contribute to a low sex drive (everything from relationship issues to medications), sometimes it can be a sign that something else is going on.

“There are a variety of medical conditions that can lead to low sexual desire, such as hormonal imbalances, depression, anxiety, and certain medications,” explains Dr. Marla Shapiro, author of The New Sex Bible. “If you’re experiencing a sudden or dramatic decrease in your sex drive, it’s definitely worth talking to your doctor.”

Your doctor can help identify what might be causing your low libido and come up with a treatment plan. “Treatment options vary depending on the underlying cause,” says Dr. Shapiro. “For example, if it’s due to a medication you’re taking, your doctor may be able to prescribe an alternative. If it’s due to a hormonal imbalance, they may recommend hormone therapy.”

So if you’re not feeling in the mood lately, you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Don’t hesitate to make an appointment with your doctor or therapist.

Diet And Exercise Can Help to Boost Your Sex Drive

Kegel Exercises
It’s no secret that diet and exercise can improve your overall health, but did you know that they can also have a positive effect on your sexual desire?

That’s right – if you’re looking to increase your libido, experts say making changes to your diet and fitness routine may be just what you need.

For starters, eating a healthy diet is essential to keeping your mojo going. After all, the food you eat provides the nutrients your body needs to function properly, including those that are important for sexual health.

For example, foods that are high in zinc, such as oysters, pumpkin seeds, and dark chocolate, can help to increase testosterone levels, which can in turn boost your sex drive.

In addition to eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise is also important for boosting your libido. Exercise not only helps to improve your overall fitness and energy levels, but it can also increase blood flow to the genitals, which can enhance sexual arousal.

Sleep and Relaxation will Boost Your Sex Drive

Getting enough sleep and relaxation are important for maintaining a healthy libido. When we are tired, our bodies are not able to function optimally, and this can lead to a decrease in libido.

Better Sleep

Tips to sleeping better include establishing a regular sleep schedule, avoiding caffeine and alcohol before bed, and creating a relaxing bedtime routine.

Just Relax

If you’re looking for ways to boost your sex drive, one of the best things you can do is focus on relaxation. Stress can have a profound impact on sexual desire, so it’s important to find ways to relax both physically and mentally.

There are a number of different relaxation techniques you can try, both alone and with your partner. For example, you might want to try yoga or meditation to help clear your mind and ease tension in your body. Or, you might want to try a massage or a warm bath to help you relax physically.

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Whatever relaxation technique you choose, make sure you’re taking the time to truly focus on relaxation. This means setting aside any distractions and making sure you’re in a comfortable environment.

Once you’ve found a relaxation technique that works for you, you’ll likely find that your sex drive will improve as well.

Try Mindfulness

Mindfulness can also help to increase libido. By focusing on the present moment and being more aware of our thoughts and feelings, we can reduce stress and anxiety, which can contribute to a lower libido.

Additionally, mindfulness can help us to be more present during sexual activity, resulting in a more enjoyable and intimate experience.

Stay away from alcohol and drugs

It’s no secret that drugs and alcohol can have a major impact on your sex life. Whether you’re taking prescription medications or Recreational drugs, chances are they’re affecting your libido.

“Drugs and alcohol can impact your sex drive and sex life in a number of ways. They can alter your hormones, affect your ability to get and maintain an erection, and decrease your libido. In addition, they can make it more difficult to reach orgasm, and if you do, the quality of your orgasm may be less than it would be if you were sober. If you’re using drugs or alcohol to help you get through sex, it’s time to reevaluate your approach,” says Dr. Howard Rhodes, a certified addiction specialist.

Here’s a look at how different types of drugs can impact your sex drive:

  • Alcohol: Drinking too much alcohol can make it difficult to get aroused and can lead to premature ejaculation.
  • Stimulants: Stimulants like cocaine and methamphetamine can make you feel more sexually aroused, but they can also lead to erectile dysfunction and make it difficult to orgasm.
  • Depressants: Depressants like Xanax and Valium can make you feel less interested in sex.
  • Opioids: Opioids like Oxycontin and Vicodin can reduce your libido and make it difficult to get an erection.

If you think your medications or recreational drug use is affecting your sex life, talk to your doctor. They can help you find ways to manage the side effects and keep your libido healthy.

Supplements and Herbal Remedies

There are a number of potential causes for a low sex drive, and supplements and herbal remedies can be one way to help increase sexual desire. While there is no one-size-fits-all solution, some common supplements and herbs that have been traditionally used to help increase sexual desire include:

Stress Sucks

When it comes to low libido, stress is often one of the main culprits. When a person is stressed, their body is in a state of fight-or-flight. This means that the body is focused on survival and not on reproduction. This can lead to a decrease in sex drive.

Additionally, when a person is stressed, they may not feel in the mood for sex. They may be too tired, anxious, or just not interested.

Lastly, stress can cause physical changes that can affect sex drive. For example, it can lead to erectile dysfunction in men or vaginal dryness in women.

Fortunately, there are a number of things you can do to reduce stress and boost your sex drive.

  • Exercise: Exercise is a great way to reduce stress, as it releases endorphins that can improve your mood.
  • Yoga: Yoga can help to calm the mind and ease tension in the body.
  • Meditation: Meditation can help to clear your mind and focus on the present moment.
  • Spending time in nature: Spending time in nature can help to reduce stress and improve your overall sense of wellbeing.
  • Spending time with loved ones: Spending time with loved ones can help to reduce stress and make you feel more connected and supported.

Relationship Problems Can Lower Libido

Boost Your Sex Drive

If a person is unhappy in their relationship, they may not be as interested in sex. This can be due to many factors, such as feeling disconnected from their partner, feeling like sex is a chore, or feeling like their partner is not attracted to them.

If this is the case, think about seeking help from a couple’s therapist to work on improving your relationship. Or really work on better communication with your partner.

Stop Watching Porn

Boost Your Sex Drive

It’s no secret that men love pornography. In fact, studies have shown that up to 80% of men watch porn regularly. However, what many men don’t realize is that watching too much porn can actually have a negative impact on their sex drive.

How does this happen? Well, when you watch pornography, your brain is being bombarded with sexual images and stimuli. This can eventually lead to your brain becoming desensitized to sexual content. In other words, you become less aroused by real-life sexual encounters because your brain is used to the over-stimulation that comes from pornography.

Additionally, if you’re only getting sexual gratification from pornography and not from real-life sexual encounters, you may start to lose interest in sex altogether. This can be a real problem if you’re in a relationship, because it can put a strain on your relationship and make it difficult to maintain a healthy sexual connection with your partner.

If you think you may be watching too much porn, it’s important to cut back and find other ways to get sexual gratification. This may mean being more active in your sex life, trying new things with your partner, or simply spending more time enjoying non-sexual activities together.

By diversifying your sources of sexual gratification, you can help keep your sex drive strong and avoid the potential problems that come with too much pornography use.

Watch Porn but Don’t Masturbate

If you simple can’t kick the habit, try watching porn without masturbating, some experts believe you can boost your sex drive. This is because you are stimulating your sexual arousal without releasing it.

This means that your body will become more sensitive to sexual stimulation and you will find yourself becoming more aroused more easily. As your body becomes more aroused, your sex drive should get a boost. This is because your body will be able to respond more readily to sexual stimulation.

If you masturbate while you are watching pornography, you will release your sexual arousal and your body will not be as sensitive to sexual stimulation.

Trying New Things in The Bedroom

How to get women in the mood

Perhaps your sex drive is low because you’re not having the right sex. Maybe you’re into certain fetishes but are afraid to explore them. Perhaps you’re just bored. Trying new things in the bedroom can be a great way to boost your sex drive.

If you’re not sure where to start, consider talking to your partner about what you’re interested in. If they’re open to it, they may have some suggestions of their own. If you’re both on the same page, then you can start exploring. If you’re not sure what you’re into, then there are plenty of resources out there to help you figure it out.

Try a Sex Toy

Introducing sex toys into the mix is always fun. Like an excited kid who can’t wait to try their new toy they got from the store. You can replicate that feel of exploration and excitement in the bedroom by trying new toys.

Here’s a few beginner toys I recommend to my couples:

Try New Sex Positions

Trying new sex positions can also be very exciting. Just because you’ve always done it one way, doesn’t mean you can’t mix it up. Be adventurous and experiment! Try different speeds, different angles, different strokes. You may be surprised at what turns you on.

There’s no need to be ashamed of what you’re into. Everyone has their own sexual preferences and there’s nothing wrong with that.

The important thing is that you’re both consenting adults and that you’re both comfortable with whatever you’re doing. If you’re not comfortable with something, then don’t do it.

Communication is key when it comes to trying new things in the bedroom. You need to be able to communicate with your partner about what you’re both into and what you’re not. If you’re not sure about something, then ask. It’s better to ask and be safe than to go ahead and do something that you’re not comfortable with.

Get creative and have fun. The important thing is to just enjoy yourselves. Trying new things can be a great way to spice up your sex life and rekindle the spark.

Ruth Thomas

Ruth Thomas

Hi! My name is Ruth! I am a sex therapist and a happily married swinger (for 20 years now).

I have a PhD in human sexuality and a masters in counseling. I've been helping people improve their sex lives for over 25 years.

I am a member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) and the International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM).

I'm here to help people explore their sexuality and find what works for them. Whether it's with one partner or many, in a committed relationship or not, I believe that everyone deserves to experience the joys of a fulfilling sexual life.