You’re scrolling through the plethora of choices on Ashley Madison and you see a girl (or guy) who is absolutely gorgeous. You start chatting and before you know it, you’re making plans to meet up.
But then you start thinking about all of the horror stories you’ve heard about people hooking up with strangers online. What if this person isn’t who they say they are? What if they are dangerous?
Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. While running the hookup app that I created (the first version of Mixxxer before becoming a lifestyle site), I wrote this guide of hookup safety tips for our members to follow.
If you follow these hookup safety tips, you should have nothing to worry about. And bear in mind, this guide works for both men and women looking to hookup for some casual fun.
1. Choose A Reputable Hookup Site or App
When it comes to online hookups, you can never be too safe. There are so many ways that things can go wrong, and you don’t want to end up in a bad situation.
That’s why it’s so important to choose a reputable hookup site or app. There are a lot of them out there, but not all of them are created equal.
You want to make sure that you’re using a site that has a good reputation and that is known for being safe and secure.
Here are a few things to look for when choosing a hookup site:
1. Look for a site that is well-known and respected.
There are a lot of hookup sites out there, but not all of them are created equal. You want to make sure that you’re using a site that has a good reputation and that is known for being safe and secure.
2. Make sure the site has a good privacy policy.
You don’t want your personal information to be shared with anyone without your consent. Make sure that the site you’re using has a good privacy policy in place.
3. Choose a site that offers a secure connection.
When you’re sharing personal information, you want to make sure that it is being transmitted over a secure connection. Look for sites that use HTTPS instead of HTTP.
4. Make sure the site has a good customer support system.
You should be able to get help from the site if you have any problems. Look for a site that offers live chat or email support.
2. Don’t Give Out Personal Information
In the world of online hookups, it’s important to remember that you don’t always know who you’re talking to. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new and forgetting to be cautious.
That’s why it’s important to remember his hookup safety tip to never give out personal information when hooking up online. This includes:
- Your full name
- Address
- Phone number
- Personal email address (I suggest creating an email specifically for online hookup sites)
- Social media accounts
- Or any other identifying information.
The reason for this is simple: you don’t know who you’re talking to. There’s no way to verify that the person you’re talking to is who they say they are. They could be lying about their identity, or they could be a predator looking for their next victim.
Communication Methods
So you’re ready to meet up for the first time, how do you communicate with them without giving them your phone number or identity?
Thankfully, there are a lot of options these days for chatting with strangers while staying (mostly) anonymous.
Do Use:
- Kik
- Telegram
Don’t Use:
- Facebook Messenger – By using Facebook messenger, you are giving them access to your Facebook profile.
- Text Messages (SMS) – This one is obvious. By texting them, you are giving up your phone number.
- Instagram Chat – Again, you are giving them access to your Instagram account which they can potentially use to find out more information about you.
3. Video Chat First. Always!
This hookup safety tip is so important!
You don’t really know what someone is like until you meet them face-to-face, but video chatting is the next best option!
One of the best ways to stay safe when hooking up online is to video chat with your potential partner before meeting them in person. This way you can get a feel for what they’re really like and make sure there is a real connection before you take things to the next level.
Of course, you don’t have to chat for hours on end. Just a quick chat should be enough to get a sense of who the person is.
Some pseudo anonymous video chat apps I suggest using are:
- Google Hangouts
4. Meet in a public place
Whether we’re talking about catfishing, online predators, or just general creeps, it’s important to be aware of the dangers that come with hooking up with someone online.
That’s why, if you’re going to meet someone you met online in person, it’s important to do it in a public place the first few times. This way, if something does happen, there will be other people around who can help.
Some great public places to meet up with someone you met online include:
- Coffee shops
- Bars
- Restaurants
- Park benches
- Museums
- Concerts
- Shopping Malls
Of course, this is just a short list. The important thing is that you choose a place where you feel comfortable and safe. Just make sure the location is well lit and there are other people around you.
5. Tell a friend
If you’re planning on hooking up with someone you met online, it’s always a good idea to tell a friend. This way, if something goes wrong, you have someone who knows where you are and can come to your rescue.
Here are some hookup safety tips to keep in mind when telling a friend about your plans:
1. Give them as much detail as possible.
This includes the name and contact information of the person you’re meeting, as well as the location. The more information you can give, the better.
2. Let them know when you’re leaving and when you’ll be back.
This way, they can check in on you and make sure you’re safe.
3. Make sure they have your back.
You should feel comfortable telling your friend everything that’s going on. They should be supportive and understanding, not judgmental.
4. Keep in mind that things can go wrong.
Even if you’re being careful, there’s always a chance that something could happen. So it’s important to have a friend you can rely on in case of an emergency.
6. Phone A Friend
This hookup safety tip is important enough that I think it deserves its own section.
One simple way to feel more comfortable is to schedule a check-in call with a friend during your meetup. Your friend should call you at a specific time.
If things seem off and you want to get out of there, you can just tell your friend to come get you.
7. Be Aware of Red Flags
When you’re looking to hook up with someone online, it’s important to be aware of any red flags that might pop up, whether it be when you’re chatting with them online or meeting them in person.
Here are some red flags to look out for when hooking up online:
1. They’re vague about their identity
If someone is being vague about their identity, it’s a major red flag. They might be using a fake name, fake photos, and fake information to lure you in.
Be very careful about pursuing someone who isn’t being upfront about who they are.
2. They’re pushy about meeting up
If someone is pushing you to meet up before you’re ready, it’s a red flag. They might be trying to take advantage of you or might be hiding something.
Take your time getting to know someone online before meeting them in person.
3. They have a history of violence or aggression
If someone has a history of violence or aggression, it’s best to steer clear. You don’t want to end up in a dangerous situation by hooking up with someone like this.
This may be a tough one to determine, but check out their social media profiles and Google their name to see if there’s anything alarming in their past.
4. They’re not respectful of your boundaries
If someone is crossing your boundaries or not respecting your limits, it’s a red flag. They might be trying to take advantage of you or might not be safe to be around.
Be very clear about your boundaries with someone before hooking up with them.
5. They’re not being honest about their intentions
If someone is being vague or evasive about their intentions, it’s a red flag. They might be trying to mislead you or might not be looking for the same thing that you are.
Be clear about what you’re looking for before hooking up with someone.
8. Stay Sober
This hookup safety tip is often overlooked, but keeping a clear head can help you stay alert and make better decisions when you’re interacting with someone new.
Now, we’re not saying that you need to abstain from alcohol entirely. We all like to let loose and have a good time, after all. But if you’re going to be hooking up with someone new, it’s important to keep your wits about you.
Alcohol can make it difficult to think clearly and make good decisions. It can also make you more likely to take risks that you wouldn’t normally take.
So if you’re meeting someone new for a hookup, be sure to keep your alcohol consumption to a minimum.
9. Keep Your Drink with You at All Times
We’ve all heard horror stories about people being drugged at bars or clubs, and while it’s admittedly rare, it’s still a risk you should be aware of. If you’re holding your drink, you can be sure that no one has tampered with it.
Just be aware of your surroundings and make sure you keep track of your drinks throughout the night.
If you do start to feel dizzy or nauseous, it’s important to get help immediately. Find a staff member or security guard and let them know what’s happening.
Don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel like something isn’t right. Your safety is always more important than being polite.
10. Trust Your Gut
We’ve all been there. We meet someone online and they seem great. They’re attractive, funny, and seem to have their life together. So we decide to meet up for some casual fun.
And then, something happens. Maybe they’re a little too pushy. Maybe they make you feel uncomfortable. Maybe you just get a bad feeling about the whole situation.
Whatever the case may be, it’s important to trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. And there’s no shame in listening to that little voice in your head that’s telling you to be careful.
Of course, it’s not always easy to tell if someone is untrustworthy, but if you’re ever in doubt, it’s always better to err on the side of caution.
There’s plenty of fish in the sea, so it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
11. Have an Exit Plan
When you’re meeting someone for the first time, it’s always a good idea to have an exit plan. Just in case things go south, you’ll want to have a way to get out of there quickly and safely.
Here are a few things to keep in mind when making your exit plan:
- Make sure you have your phone with you and that it’s fully charged.
- Make sure your Uber or Lyft account is active and the payment method is working.
- Have a friend or family member on standby who you can call or text if you need to get out of there fast.
- Know your surroundings and have a few escape routes in mind.
- Never be afraid to ask for help from someone in the area.
12. Bring Protection
And last but certainly not least, it’s important to remember to always bring protection when hooking up with a girl. Let’s not forget that you’re meeting up with a stranger.
It doesn’t matter how attractive they are or how innocent they may seem; you don’t know their sexual history.
I don’t think any of us want to contract an STD or have a child roaming around this world unbeknownst to us. So bring some rubbers!
